Hello Autumn, hello sweaters, hello being too cold to get out of bed in the morning. Hello, hello, pumpkins and sneezes.
Hello soup or stew.

Hello, October, it's my birthday soon. Another day to wonder at being older in number and ever younger in heart (and brain).

Hello, Matilda is one month old. Molly is nearer to year two. My storybook children. My gypsy children. Every morning after Molly gets dressed, she stands expectantly next to the door. Where are we going?
Matilda Eloise. My last made from scratch baby. She is so strong. The day she was born she could already hold her head up. She could already roll from side to side. My daughters are so strong. Molly never learned to crawl, but she sure can run. Matilda has her father's eyes and hands. Will she play piano too?

It's time we drive to Hamilton to buy ten pounds of Basmati and as many curries, mochis, and mooskas as we can afford.

It's time to bring in spider plants, mother-in-law tongue, wandering jew and peperomias so that there will be green in the grey months to come.

I need to bring in my parsley and marjoram inside. I need to drink chile spices in my hot chocolate.
I need to go to the orchard with z, m&m to find gourds, squashes, indian corn. To eat caramel apples, pumpkin cakes. To feed goats and deer and ducks. To peek at porcupines. And roll, roll roll in ze-hay!

Hooray!

This has been the hardest winter. I don't know anyone who isn't sad. I'm waiting for the snowdrop to remind me of spring. Just a few weeks. Just a month or two. If we can just survive til the sun comes out again, I think everything will get better.
Maybe Molly will smile more again.
Maybe when the melons are in season they will inspire my belly to grow, and Molly will suck the juices.
We won't need to take her to the hospital again.

we're at the children's hospital with molly... we don't know why she's sick yet. if you believe in a deity, give them a talking to for her. if you don't, just send good vibes our way.

I'll keep this lj to stay in contact w/ friends, etc. But I no longer will post here: if you care to know I post on my blog.

Thomas Payne wrote in the introduction to his Common Sense, "Time makes more converts than reason." What a true statement! It is most unfortunate when this truth is utilized by greedy, evil men. Behold, one of the many faces of evil: I give you... Dr. Rolf Grossklaus.

Does he not resemble an Indiana Jones' flick villain? Dr. Grossklaus is the head of the CCNFSDU. With the help of the WTO, he is attempting to enforce Codex Alimentarius guidelines around the world. The Codex Alimentarius (which in latin basically means "food law") is a set of guidelines dictating the labeling, production and safety of food. Now the upsetting part of it is that under those guidelines vitamins and herbal supplements will be under strict regulation. Dr. Grossklaus has made ridiculous statements-notably that nutrition has nothing to do with health. He believes vitamins should be assessed by toxicology departments! Do you get that? That vitamins are toxic! Under his regulations any dose of Vitamin C higher than 200 mg would be illegal in our United States. Vitamin C and echinacea are all that stand between a horrid, miserable and looong bout of the common cold and I. I pump C, baby, yes I do, when I get the sniffles. 200 mg is nothing. Barely, if even effective. If this Codex Alimentarius passes (it is connected to CAFTA- the Central American Fair Trade Agreement), 75% of the vitamins and supplements available today will be banned. Illegal. Vitamins will be available by prescription only, and the doses available will be tiny, practically useless, and much more expensive. This means au revoir to health food stores. This means that people who depend on alternative options for health- people (like my father who suffers a troubled immune system) will suffer.
If you research this, you will uncover more dastardness, I promise you. It overwhelms me. We found articles connecting this with large pharmaceutical companies which once supported Hitler's regime. Companies that have played a part in the disappearance of honey bees. Companies that have hired high risk convicts to donate blood to hospitals. Do some research! Write your congressmen! Boy do I hate politics but I feel the need to stand up and shout about this! Not only do the Codex guidelines smell fishy, CAFTA in entirety smells fishy... It's bad very bad for Central America economy and healthwise and very, very bad for the US healthwise (but supposedly good for us economywise- what corporations will do for money...)
These guidelines are set to be implemented in 2009 or 2010. It may seem far away but it is not. Lets not let this slip under the radar. I believe those in charge who would have this come to pass believe that if they delay it, people will accept it as it occurs gradually.

People have asked me what my username means before. And for lack of a ready explanation I always lied and said I don't know how to spell kaleidoscopes or that I like to misspell for larks. Collideohscopes. A short poem for my point of view of the world, the universe, and everything in it. A collision of scopes or points of view. I've been accused of being indecisive only because I can see many sides of an issue. So that is me. Than one morning I had this idea. Scientists several years ago took an image of space and noticed that everything is moving away from eachother, leading them to believe that the universe is expanding. When I thought of it, my guess was that it only appears to be moving larger. Like the pieces of glass in a kaleidoscope maybe everything is turning full circles (not literal circular shapes mind you, maybe they're ellipses of some stranger sortof jittery dance). When you turn the handle to move the bits of glass the pieces look like they are moving away from eachother- as if the pattern were exploding or getting larger. Yet it remains contained. Same amount of matter. Nothing created or destroyed. Just a cycle. Everything becoming new again. I told my love that when I die my atoms will find his atoms and we'll still be dancing around eachother for always and always. Charlie says I'm getting too big for my britches considering things as large as the universe. But it makes sense to me, I promise. And anyway, Hinduisms metaphors for explaining the world makes more sense.
Boy, it'd be nice to be articulate. But you get the idea, maybe. Gosh, I'm just so disconnected. I like to think it's because my thoughts are faster than the rest of me.
I want to tell everyone how much I love being a mama. I love my daughter so fiercely. Like a grizzly bear. She is my girl cub. I love her papa fiercely too. I'm so happy. I mean not all the time. Sometimes I cry. I hate the word busy. I have so much time, I have all the time in the world. And I feel rich wasting it. And I don't want to give it up. Sometimes I cry because of headlines. I cry over headlines more than anything else. I cry because I'm not happy about where I am until I remember that I'll miss where I am tomorrow just like I miss yesterday. Yesterday Zak and I were on our honey moon, visiting bioluminescent museum exhibits and the Salvador Dali Museum, and the beach and my coral skirt and yellow sari top posing for pictures. Swishing my skirts.
So I've been wearing skirts and dressies everyday. Just to remind myself. And when I hold Molly I don't want to put her down because before I know it she'll think she's too big to sit on my lap! And how I will miss her being small! Her tiny little feet and hands! And the way they pop out of her socks overnight!

i read poems to keep me... :

Once more,
Love is pouring down my ceiling
and my walls.
Once more, it's the night of the full moon,
it is time for madness.
All my immense knowledge
cannot help me now.
Once more,

Insomnia took my patience.
Rain washed away my intellect.

Last night
I lost my grip on reality
and welcomed insanity.
Love
saw me and said,
I showed up.
Wipe your tears
and be silent.

and then.. :

Go back to sleep.
Yes, you are allowed.
you go back to sleep.

If the baby hasn't come by 6:30 am Wednesday, we're going to the hospital to coax the love out. A week ago I would have said no to induction... But now I'm all for it. I didn't even ask for it. So wow. 2 days.
Hooray!

Well, the baby's deciding to come a bit early. The doc says I won't make it to my due date. He can't say exactly how much longer I'll be pregnant, but our guess (my Dad's and mine) is a week or two. Maybe the 1st of February. At any rate by next week I'll be fair game any day.
They're predicting a 6 pounder- a little, little one. Which is fine by me! I'm little!

And I'm excited.

Gah! Our little Bobbin or Mims!